One of the things I’ve been thinking about most lately is the idea of fatal flaws. Fatal flaws are flaws which repeatedly affect us and those around us negatively. Oftentimes these flaws were built from the culture we were brought up in or the people we associate as friends. They hit close to home, because they couple so tightly with our sense of identity and self. Nobody wants to think that there’s something wrong who they are or how they act; rarely do people acknowledge there is a problem for fear of getting their ego bruised.
As a 20 year old, soon to be software engineer it is hard to fall into some of the same traps as many of my peers. Engineering school tends to blur the line between conviction and ego, making it hard to listen to other opinions and thoughts. I do this a lot; I move too fast, don’t think decisions through enough, break things, and fuck up.
As with all fatal flaws, there are kernels of virtue among the cliche of moving fast and breaking things, but that philosophy only really applies to building software. It cannot be applied to life. Things in life like relationships, friends, and family matter, and when those break it is much harder to fix than a bug in the code. When you are 20 it is expected that you will mess up some of the time. Breaking things is just a part of life. That said, I think recognizing and working to fix fatal flaws long term is an important part of continuously growing as a person. Sometimes fatal flaws are hard to face, but I’m hoping that by doing so I can keep those kernels of virtue while getting rid of traits that can hurt those around me.